Two simple practices will let you turn any conversation into a conversation worth having.
Generative Questions
Adopt an attitude of curiosity about life and people. Generative questions change how people think and act in the moment the question is asked because they:
Build genuine connection
Develop shared understanding
Make the invisible visible
Identify strengths and best practices
Create shared outcomes
Generate possibilities
They are questions for which you do not know the answer, such as:
What might be possible now?
What is one small action that would make a difference?
When have you seen a time when ____________ worked really well?
How do our strengths fit into the realities of the marketplace?
Positive Framing
Positive framing is about intentionally shaping a conversation to focus on a desirable outcome and to energize engagement to produce results. A positive frame draws people in and inspires curiosity, imagination, and interest. This should not be mistaken for focusing only on the positive. Rather, it’s about dealing with even the toughest issues in a way that motivates everyone to find creative solutions and take action.
The simple three-step approach to move from a negative, deficit-based frame to a positive frame, allowing you to work towards solutions are:
Name it. What is the problem, complaint, or the thing you don’t want?
Flip it. What is the positive opposite, the thing you do want?
Frame it. What is the positive impact if the flip is true; what is the desired outcome, i.e. what does it look like?